growing pains.

man oh man is it growing pains. between not giving a fuck about school and complaining to my heart's content about anything and everything, i've come to realize what is bothering me right now is just growing pains. i can't develop as an adult, as an individual in my current life situation. that is, i can't develop in the ways i need to and want to while living at home and in school. unfortunately i need to find some coping methods, because neither will change for a while yet. what i need to do, is find a way to thrive in the situation. i realize i just stated the same thing twice, forgive me i'm drinking. and not 100% focussed on this post, i've got grease playing in the back ground, thinking about the work i should be doing and boys on my mind.

i've gotta get through this little rough patch, get my health and weight back under control and enjoy where i am. i still have it easy in the sense that because i live at home, i do get some things easier than others. i need to appreciate that. i'm going to school because i want to, no one is forcing me to do it; something i often forget.

i think there may be a guy at work slowly starting to sniff around at work, but the thing that gets me is why do men take forever!? bah. the one whom i've been messaging tonight, i just want him to ask for my number, then he can text me and ask me to play pool as i have blatantly said i want to go play and see him again. but hey, maybe i'm not being that clear.

okay, now to write my 'food policy'. did i mention i've been sneaking bits and pieces of meat lately? i definitely don't miss it, but for whatever reason feel the reason to eat it.