Each person's dating portfolio is full of a mish mash of types: strong and silent, loud and drunk, or the perpetual gamer. My past three years have been chock full different types, seven to be exact. I will now outline these for you.
The Smooth Talker
He certainly had a way to charm the ladies; still does in fact. We were "together" (but not really) for a few months, went to grad camp. Never heard from him after that. Being the emboldened woman I am, ask him, "'whas yo deal son?" He gave me a response of, "I'm not man enough to deal with your overwhelming femininity". So maybe those weren't his exact words, maybe it was more like, "I'm not ready for commitment". Tomato, tomato. I then find out that very afternoon, he's seeing this other lady. Years later, he's apologized, and now we're good friends (they're still together). But I know the truth: a leopard never changes its spots.
The WoW Lover
Oh he was very sweet, very loving and affectionate. We could talk for hours, watch silly shows together and help one another through trying times. Did I mention he live 982 km away? In his parents basement, playing WoW for hours (which he made his parents pay for) with no job, did not go to school? Yeah, enough said. Or so you'd think. I went to visit him a couple times (three to be exact), and while not terribly expensive, it adds up. When I told him I wouldn't be able to come visit for a while due to it being too expensive, and well "why don't you come here?"
"What do you think I am, made of money?". You can tell how long that one lasted.
The Rebound
No, not my rebound. I was his rebound. Having been in a prior relationship for three years, with a six month long, rocky break up, he was bound to have a rebound. We got along well, physical chemistry, he was never condescending (well maybe a little...or a lot), never talked about his ex nor did he constantly compare us two. Amazingly we lasted six months, ending with me telling him I couldn't deal with his evasiveness. I reamed him out, telling all the things I'd bottled up (how neglected I felt, how stupid he was, how selfish he was), and as I got up to walk away (because I'm empowered, and not a bitch, remember?) he pulled me back, "it's my turn to speak". So I listened to his spiel about everything, and the one thing I truly appreciated that he said was, "You have so many qualities I appreciate, but there's just something missing. You deserve someone who can treat you well." I still think he's a tool, but I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Until he decided to delete me from Facebook but keep all the friends I'd introduced him to, and continue to talk to them. Yeah...
The Clinger
After being unlucky with meeting guys the organic way, I decided to try PlentyOfFish. So many options, so many guys looking to get laid, some real lovely sounding guys and some real down to earth guys. My inbox was spammed daily (no big deal or anything). I started talking to this one guy and it was great: same dry sarcastic humour, same rough music taste. And get this! He lived down the block from me! So we started talking, hung out a few times, and all was well. Somehow (I say that because I don't know how I got into this situation) I ended up his girlfriend and he was over the top. The first little while was great, but then it got way too intense, especially while I was in school. So, I broke it off. Rather tried to. I remember it: had come back from watching Hop (terrible movie by the way), sitting in the residence parking lot waiting for him to go. To not hurt him more than needed, "Hey, I'm really sorry but I don't have the emotional capacity for a romantic relationship". Pretty straight to the point, no? An hour and twenty minutes later did he finally leave my car. It took another three weeks to get the point clear to him. He wasn't too thrilled with me to say the least.
The Scumbag FWB
I decided this time to try something I had never done before. Let's do FriendsWithBenefits! Those always work, you get the best of both worlds: sex and good times with friends.
I've learned my lesson: don't ever hang around someone who smokes pot all day, lives in pure darkness, and has a dumb name. He kept trying to convince me that we were legitimately friends, and that even without sex on the table we could still hang out. That was said because I was starting to feel terrible for sleeping with him with no relationship (not that I wanted one, but my good sense was coming back to me). I remember smoking a bowl with him, in the day light. And he was the ugliest looking guy ever! It was insane, in the darkness he seemed totally cute and normal. But man were his teeth yellow. Luckily, he's out of my life.
The Unstable Dramatic
Oh! Oh! Oh! This one's fun! I started working at a pub. I worked with some old friends, and many new ones. After getting settled, I started being able to joke around with and get to know my coworkers a bit better. And amazingly, this one guy asked to hang out outside of work. This concept of a guy coming after me was brand spanking new: remember, empowered woman! He was incredibly sweet, warm and funny and pretty cute. We hung out a couple more times, and maybe I got myself into another situation where I was asked to be someone's girlfriend, and I couldn't say no (seriously, physically unable to say no). What's the harm right? We get along well enough, physical chemistry was definitely there. And hey! It's summer.
It was great, until school was looming a week away. And I had not been feeling it. "Hey, I don't think I can see you any more. School is going to be taking up a lot of my time, I'm going to neglect you (kind of like the Rebound did) and you're not going to be happy". He was so sad, and wanted to make it work. But I was firm with my decision and left it at that. The next couple days were rough at work as he hadn't been taking to the break up well. He was hung over, and being quite terse with me. To make sure things were okay, we decided to take a walk about three days after the initial break up. Low and behold, we got back together.
Things were good for another couple months, until he started feeling, "[you're] not spending enough time with me. I never get to see you, why don't you call?". I laughed at the irony of the situation given why I'd broken up with him the first time for. We reached the breaking point and I broke up with him. Or tried to. After spewing words like, "you're so selfish, you're a taker, you're not worth the way I treated you" I was going to go to sleep, but, "We can make this work. I can find a new level of patience for you. Are you sure you want to do this?" Well, yes, I am. He tells me he want a couple items of clothing back, which I bring him the next day. And when I do, I get greeted with, "You deserve to have your heart broken, you deserve to feel terrible" and more pathetic things like that.
I leave, because I don't have to deal with his garbage (empowered!). I check my Facebook, and hey! A message! Those are fun. "I hope you feel good about yourself, you deserve nothing but shit the rest of your days, you're a pathetic human being". And with that, he's out of my life. Can't say I mind.
That pretty much covers it. Looking at this "who's who of human crap", I can safely say I want something conventional now.
