it's 5 o'clock in the morning.

okay. but not really.

it's only 11:26 PM. and i'm rather drunk. i'd rather be sleeping.

i think relationships are garbage. i had a friend recently delete me from FB. this friend, getting legitimately engaged to this guy after knowing him after a month. A MONTH! how insane is that? this is something i cannot get on board with. i made this distaste known, and we haven't been the same. i found out a couple days ago, she deleted me as a friend. my only concern, is that if something happens, how can i be there to support her? i've been told that it is her decision, and all that. but i still feel bad for how it has ended.

the reason why this ties in to my disregard for relationships, is because i feel this degrades the sanction of marriage or even just engagement. i know i want my engagement and marriage to mean something, but with the apparent trend of getting engaged and/or marriage at such a young age, i feel it ruins it. it ruins the magic that i've been attributing to it for years.

ever since i was about 8 years old, i've been envisioning this big prince charming coming to sweep me off my feet. now, over the years i've edited and revised what i consider prince chrming, but i still would love it if he comes to sweep me off my feet. but i don't want to get engaged, or promised to someone, within the first few months of knowing them. i think that is so completely ridiculous.

i don't know what i'm talking about. i can't read what i've written, as i'm not wearing my glasses. i hope it makes sense. i'd just rather take my time, than commit quickly. it sucks, but i'd rather that, than get into a ridiculous relationship.

more in the morning. i swear,

baby you don't know, you don't know my mind.

Due to an inordinate amount of garbage that I've put into my body in the past three days. I believe a detox is in order. This detox will be composed of three things:

1. No coffee or alcohol;
2. No refined sugars, no salt;
3. No dairy.

What this does leave me with is:

• an abundance of fruits and vegetables
• water
• nuts and grains

Call me crazy for wanting to do this in December the Holiday Season, but I only have one Christmas party a week. Therefore, I believe if I adhere to this 'detox' of sorts, I will be in the clear. I also intend on upping my running (I've slowly started up again. Read: once a week) and continuing on with my yoga. All this for the end goal of losing another ten to fifteen pounds. No, I don't think I need to, I just like the additional challenge.