procrastinate ALL the time.

- i am glad you are happy, i feel you could do better. great person to lose a friendship over, granted it was my fault. he's a slime bag though.
- respect that i have a life i am dedicated to and i will not drop what i am doing for you. i am not dating you, never have been, you are not that close of a friend and you want me to drop family/school/work for you? i hate that the only thing you seem to be interested in, about me, is whether or not i have had sex with someone. i believe it's because this way, if i haven't i'm more likely to sleep with you. wrong.
- since you, i have been on a 'men are tool bags and i don't want a relationship with them' streak. thanks asshole. i am mad at you for being a toolbox, but i guess i'm more mad at myself for not seeing it or doing something about it. but hey, good luck in another one of your meaningless relationship.
- you're cute, i'm cute. i'm single, you're (hopefully) single too. ask me out. i won't say no.
- you're a huge inspiration to me, but sometimes i get intimidated because i can't do some of the things you do, and i don't have the focus or determination to do so myself. i am glad we met though, you've been a real mentor to me these past few months. but i meant what i said yesterday, about not really being a part of the family. i am glad i didn't go last night. i am glad you did.
- you are like goodness in a package. i know i should not compare myself, but you're so fucking kind and genuine. if there are women like you in the world, how is a bitter ol' betty like me supposed to meet someone? i'm glad you're a part of the family right now.
- stop being so good to me. you're ruining me for men. and i mean that in the kindest and with the most love possible.
- LIFE IS GOOD. stop seeing all the bad in it, you are worth it and you deserve goodness and happiness. just wish you could accept that.

exam season.

3:00 AM
You lay awake in bed with your eyes wide open. You think about where you're going to go tomorrow, what supplies you need to bring, and if you have enough change for coffee. You toss and turn because tomorrow is Thursday where you work all day, then Friday - another 8 hour shift-, then Saturday morning there is one exam and you will not have time to study Friday night...or Saturday day. You just have to get a certain amount of studying done or else you become behind. What food am I going to eat tomorrow? Do I have food? Does it matter? Do I have gas? I wonder how much money is my bank account. Now it is too hot in my bed, better open the window. I need to shave my legs. Why am I awake? My alarm clock is set for 6 AM.

4:00 AM
I'm still awake. This is not good. Go to sleep. You need to study 6 chapters today.

6:00 AM - Alarm clock goes off.
No. This is not happening. I just fell to sleep.

7:30 AM
Shit. I need to get to work. There's a pile of paperwork waiting for me.

8:00 AM
Okay, I can get the necessary paperwork done. And then I'll be off to study. Where did I say I was going to study again? School? No, too far. Home? Can't concentrate. Starbucks? Yeah, Starbucks. Maybe there will be a cute guy there. No, I can't think about that. I need to focus on the chapters I have to study today. Besides, I am wearing my studying pants, not my go-out-and-get'em pants. Did I brush my teeth...?

11:00 AM
Wicked. I'm ahead of schedule, I got at Starbucks before I expected. But the internet's not working! Now I can't check Facebook, email, grades, tumblr one last time before I study. Great. What the heck Starbucks. Whatever. I'll go get coffee.

"Is that all? It's 1.85....you're five cents short."
"What? Oh. Sorry. I thought that nickel was a quarter."
"Oh no worries m'am. That happens all the time."

Man this coffee tastes like crap. Whatever. I'll live. Oh look! A crossword. Better do that to warm my  brain up to study.

11:20 AM
Sick! The internet is finally working. Let me just check Facebook. AW, THERE IS A PICTURE OF A KITTY! That's so cute, I haven't seen that photo yet. I wonder what Mr. Kitty is doing at home. Something adorable no doubt. I miss Mr. Kitty. No. I need to study. What time is it? Shit, 11:29. Better get cracking.

12:30 PM
Wow, I actually studied for a solid hour. Better take a break. Wait. I did brush my teeth. I did it before I packed my lunch...or did I do it after...How do I not remember brushing my teeth. I'll just go study with Mr. Kitty.

1:00 PM
Ow! Damnit cat, stop biting me. You're such a distraction. Aw, you're purring in my lap. You must love me and my stank breath. You're too cute. Love me forever. Stop swatting my pen, cat. I'm trying to take notes. No! Don't eat my crackers and hummus.

3:00 PM
I'm bored. Hey! There are dishes to wash. I'll just wash a couple to take a break then start studying again. But I could vacuum too. And I think that coffee wore off because I'm sleepy. I'll just take a quick little cat nap.

4:30 PM
Uh oh. That was a little longer than a cat nap. I'm hungry though, I'll have a quick snack then get right back at 'er. And while I'm eating I may as well watch a short 20 minute episode of that TV show I missed last night. Man these cookies and hot chocolate are delicious.

7:00 PM
There's no use studying now, it's too late. I'll be going to bed soon. Man my breath stinks. It was a good call to stay away from public and get all that studying done. I'm the best at making popcorn, just the right amount of salt.

11:00 PM
Shit. I got barely any studying done. I have to do it tomorrow. Tomorrow: NO kitty and NO TV.

3:00 AM
Gotta remember to brush my teeth today...